Monday, August 31, 2009

Yah! Do You Have to Be Right All the Time?

Do you have to be right all the time? Isn't it exhausting? It took me a long time to figure out, but I prefer feeling right to being right.

1. Feeling right is always better than being right.

· How many times have you been right but felt lousy afterward? You've proved your point, gotten the other person to agree with you; you should be feeling great, but you don't.
· Giving up the need to always be right is the beginning of having a loving relationship.
· Feeling connected is what it's all about, not being right.

2. Feeling good about being right is always short-lived.

· The immediate boost from being right is always short-lived. This is about the ego, i.e., a momentary conquest that has no legs and will not go the distance.
· The minute the momentum of victory has worn off; you will feel isolated and alone.

3. Having to be right pushes people away and is unattractive.

· There is something very unappealing about a person who sense of self is based on having to be right.
· When you are secure, you do not need anyone to agree with you about anything.

4. Having to be right is always about insecurity.

· When you need another person to agree with your point of view and you can't "feel good" unless they do, your sense of self is very fragile.
· Insecurity pushes people away - the same people you want to be close to.

5. Having to be right takes a lot of work.

· This is exhausting work.
· Having to be right means that you are intimately invested in another person seeing things your way. Why? What difference does it make?